| “Responding to picture books and videos”
The stories discussed below were read aloud to the students, then followed up with class discussion and individual written responses. The selection of stories which follow are listed in the order in which they were presented to the class. A brief summary of how each story was received can be viewed by clicking on the story title below.
· Who’s in the family by Robert Skutch. · Dinosaurs divorce by Laurene Krasny Brown, and Divorce is a grown-up problem by Janet Sinberg · Zack’s story by Keith Elliot Greenberg · All families are different by Sol Gordon · How my parents learned to eat by Ina R. Friedman
Following the work with the storybooks, the students also viewed two videos, discussing them in small groups we called “tribes.” A summary of the discussions which followed them can be viewed by clicking on the video titles below.
· That’s a family by Debra Chasnoff · Sticks and stones by George Johnson (producer)
Who’s in the family by Robert Skutch.
To start my teaching about family diversity, I chose a book with a cross-section of families. Linda, our loved classroom volunteer, read Who’s in the Family aloud to the whole class while I observed. The students were particularly interested in the animal families in the story and identified with their situations. Asked “Have you learned anything from this book that you didn’t know before?” twelve students wrote variations on, “I knew everything in this book.” Eight students said something about animal families. For example, “I didn’t know that in some of the animal families the male leaves the female to raise the young.”
I was somewhat surprised that only four students wondered about the human families in the story. Stating, for example, “I didn’t know that families could have only one dad or one mom alone” or “I didn’t know you can have two moms and two dads.” However, once students began sharing their own family situations, many more became inquisitive. In response to, “Did you learn anything new from your classmate’s families?” comments like, “I did learn a lot about other kids’ families,” “That about one-quarter of the class’s moms and dads are split up” increased. I observed that the kids became more animated during the discussion and sharing of real situations. Their written responses to questions about actual classmates’ situations were more detailed than they had been in response to the book, including questions such as, “Do they feel comfortable changing to their mom’s house and to their dad’s?” “How come some children don’t see their moms as much as their dads or the other way around/” “How many uncles, grandparents and aunts [do] they have?” “What is it like to have a gay family?”
Dinosaurs divorce by Laurene Krasny Brown, and Divorce is a grown-up problem by Janet Sinberg
I felt that it was important to discuss divorce since eleven of my twenty-six students had experienced separation or divorce. I thought this subject was easier to approach with an animal story. It was somewhat of a surprise, but also provided me with a glimmer of hope, when one student’s answer to, “What have you learned form this book?” was “Nothing. But I think something is wrong from the book, divorce is not always a problem.” Our society as a whole still considers divorce a problem. We generally hear of many more families in which it has become a problem than in which it has not. After our discussion, which had a serious tone to it, there were few written questions. Some wondered why parents get divorced. Some answered, “It’s better than if they always fight” to which another retorted, “If they fight all the time, why did they get married in the first place?” Despite the positive resolutions in the stories, more students commented on the negative aspects of divorce.
Zack’s story by Keith Elliot Greenberg
In this story, Zack lives with his lesbian mom and her partner. He often visits his birth father’s home where he has a step-mom and a baby half-sister. At the end of the story we also learn that his mom’s partner gave birth to another baby half-sister. Prior to reading the book, we reviewed known vocabulary. It seemed to me that the majority of students were familiar the words gay, lesbian, and homosexuality, but became uncomfortable and giggly when expressions such as homo, dyke, faggot, fag, les were raised by students. They told me those were “bad” words, but many did not know the exact meaning of them. After explanations and discussions of the words, they easily settled down and became totally involved in Zack’s story. It appeared to me that during the discussion of the book the class was completely comfortable discussing Zack’s family—one that he loved—and his family life. We were privileged in our class because one of our well-liked students had gay parents. He was willing and able to share many aspects of his family with us. All of the children’s written comments indicated to me how accepting they were of their fellow classmates and their families. Some examples, “You shouldn’t call gay people names”; “There are a lot of people that don’t know a lot about homosexual people and call them names…” ; “Why do people call gay people names?”; “There are different kinds of families in this country and it’s fine with me,”; “How many types of families are there?”; “Families are all different.” The expressions on some of my students’ faces made me feel like they needed to think more and ask further questions later.
All families are different by Sol Gordon
It seemed to me that more students started sharing their own experiences and more of them became interested in their classmates’ family situations. For this book I changed the questionnaire slightly with the intention of eliciting fewer “Yes” and “No” responses to questions. This didn’t appear to make a difference. The comments and questions from this book revolved around grandparents because Sol Gordon includes them in his book. In contemplating the students’ written comments and questions it occurred to me that their thinking was becoming more divergent. They wanted to know, for example, “Is it possible not to have parents?”; “Why are families different?”; “Why do people make fun of being gay?”; “If you have a brother or sister are they blood related to your brother or sister?”; and several wrote, “I wonder what it would be like….”
How my parents learned to eat by Ina R. Friedman
This was the last book I read aloud. The students loved this humorous book in which a little girl of mixed race tells the story of how her parents met. This was an excellent book to get mixed race children involved in more personal discussions. Once again we are lucky in our class because we have several mixed race, culture and nationality students. They eagerly shared their experiences with us. Their backgrounds are: Japanese and Canadian, Chinese and Malaysian, Jewish and Korean, First Nations and Canadian, Chinese and Filipino, and Spanish and Filipino. It felt like those students totally identified with the young girl in the book who obviously loved hearing her parents’ story. I was very glad to have this book to share with them. I also shared with them that I grew up in a family with a special needs older sister. I told them that I didn’t like it because I felt that she always got more attention than me. And when it came to being in trouble—it was always me!
That’s a family! by Debra Chasnoff
That’s a family! is a film for children about family diversity. After the video, the students discussed the following questions:
1. List the different family structures presented in this video. 2. Make a list of facts you learned from this video. 3. How did you feel about some of the teasing these children experienced? 4. Do you think there is such a thing as a perfect family? Why or why not? How would you feel if someone said bad things about your family? What would you do about it?
When we shared each other’s answers as a whole class, I noticed that all students seemed much more at ease, and uninhibited about each other’s families. The students became quite creative in terms of who and what configurations they could call a family, such as a single person, a couple with a pet, a child with two moms and two dads. It seemed possible to me that this young generation might be considerably more accepting and tolerant of family diversity than my generation was. Also, the more we talked about families, the less embarrassed the students were and the more fascinated they became with each others’ situations. They were starting to realize that there are an infinite number of family configurations possible.
Sticks and stones by George Johnson (producer)
This film also helped to nurture respect for a full range of family models such as single-parent households, extended, gay and blended families. The film provides a history of the words “fag” and “faggot.” In small groups, my students then had to come up with a list of every kind of family insult they could think of. Well, they were stunned and surprised. They looked at me with wide-open eyes before they asked, “You mean we can say them?”, “We can write them down?” They promised not to use any of those words in the hallways in order not to offend anyone and they lived up to their promise. So far I have not had any complaints from other students or staff. After ten minutes, they had to brainstorm in their group a response to the question, “Why do we put down others?” They came up with an impressive list of reasons. The range of answers included: feeling upset, having problems at home, revenge, insecurity, bullying, and just thinking people are different.
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